Here I am.

"Here I sit, scattered around the pages of my times with you. Collecting the remains of our beautiful memories, our moments of longing. I laugh, I cry.
 Here I sit, and many people gather around me, each looking for a chance, no matter how small, to get to me. To sail into the seas of Forbidden Love. The love I've grown not to understand after you, not to feel its burn with anyone but you. The love that shattered me and cost me all traces of dignity and self-respect.

Here I am, trying over and over to regain the strength to stand on my feet, to reclaim the smile that never used to leave my face.. After you, the world had lost its colors in my eyes, and I've become to see it in black and white.

Here I sit, yearning to hear anything about you, knowing deep down, that no matter how long I wait.. I won't be receiving nothing.

Here I sit, between the wall of my broken love, and the wall of my memories with you.
Foolishly preserving myself for you, knowing you weren't and will never be mine.

Here I am, trying desperately to overcome your love and accept another, knowing my efforts are pointless. Ever since you left, I lost the joy of being with someone that'll stick around. I lost the curiosity to welcome anyone new into my life. Worst of all: I lost my self and left it with you.


How? I wonder: How could this happen? How could my heart take control of me after I've always been the one controlling it?

Here I am, standing at your station. Unable to go any forward as I am unable to go back. Here I am, losing myself to you, only to be rewarded with renunciation and indifference. Here I am, paralyzed, broken, and shattered, not accepting to be repaired.

Here I stand.. And continue standing."